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Lanette

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Selfish [Jan. 12th, 2010|02:50 pm]
Lanette
[Current Mood |amusedamused]

If you are tempted to call someone else selfish I urge you to instead go over all of your journal entries and think to yourself, what percentage of these are about only how I feel?

Was thinking about this today as I was going off again about how I feel and realizing that is still my default despite efforts to think about other things more. It's really hard to ignore though, but I'll try.

I understand that journals are for getting out your own feelings, but I get tired of people being so negative about others and not even seeing their own flaws. I don't miss that part of LJ, but I miss the funny stuff so I came by to share this with you!

Now, something about people in glass houses throwing stones. Please note who should throw stones. :)


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Comments:
[User Picture]From: matrixx
2010-01-12 11:18 pm (UTC)
Nope. I don't hate anyone. It's farrrrrrr too much work. I've got one life, and I'd rather use it to build things than break them. Also, I rarely filter, but on the rare occasion I do, you're in on it. :-P
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2010-01-12 11:40 pm (UTC)
I confused my best friend by saying "I do not know how to get beyond the "how do I feel?" default. I want a default of "What is the next right action for me?" but it is hard." All I mean is that this job transition thing, layoff, whatever, it's kicking my emotional butt, if I had an emotional butt. Ok, who am I kidding my emotions are ALL butt right now. Anyhow, I want to just get beyond it and continue doing the next right thing because whining ain't gonna help a thing. It's just time, effort, growth that is going to make it better and I'm doing all I can. So, my point is a less selfish mindset is what I want for a default.

That said, I'm aware of my own natural selfish viewpoint and I do try to get out of it and look around once in awhile.
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[User Picture]From: matrixx
2010-01-12 11:43 pm (UTC)
You're fully allowed to look out for number one in my opinion. The problem is more when one's selfishness detracts from other people that if becomes a problem. Generosity is inherently selfish, but that doesn't make it less worthwhile. If you take care of your needs first, it will put you in a better position to care for the needs of others.
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[User Picture]From: vivaine666
2010-01-13 05:40 pm (UTC)
In reading this thread, it sounds like you and I hold many beliefs in common. I love the Cohen quote, and I also think that I have a problem with over-self-congratulation (is that grammatically correct? Probably not, but it's what seems to work, correct or not.) I must remind myself, being happy does NOT make you better, just happier.
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[User Picture]From: matrixx
2010-01-13 05:46 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I struggle with boundless happiness, which is ridiculous, of course, but I'm happy about it, so what can you do? But even with over-self-congratulation, when I celebrate my own achievements, I try to do it in an inclusive manner so that other people can cheer with me. I would hate for what I accomplish to make anyone feel that they have failed to do something else. It's a fine line, but I hope to err on the side of letting the people in my life know that my achievements and satisfaction are only possible because of the support and encouragement they provide.
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[User Picture]From: vivaine666
2010-01-13 09:30 pm (UTC)
That is an excellent attitude to have. Isn't being happy wonderful? I wish that everyone was as happy, there would be MUCH fewer wars if more people were happy.
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