||[Jan. 12th, 2010|02:50 pm]
If you are tempted to call someone else selfish I urge you to instead go over all of your journal entries and think to yourself, what percentage of these are about only how I feel?
Was thinking about this today as I was going off again about how I feel and realizing that is still my default despite efforts to think about other things more. It's really hard to ignore though, but I'll try.
I understand that journals are for getting out your own feelings, but I get tired of people being so negative about others and not even seeing their own flaws. I don't miss that part of LJ, but I miss the funny stuff so I came by to share this with you!
Now, something about people in glass houses throwing stones. Please note who should throw stones. :)
I'm not here to rain on any parades, in fact I try my best to bring an umbrella and march on with a smile whenever possible if needed. Something as simple as a book can fill me with delight.
I don't see you tearing other people apart or being cruel, but maybe I'm filtered out of your crazed people hating? ;) You never know.
Nope. I don't hate anyone. It's farrrrrrr too much work. I've got one life, and I'd rather use it to build things than break them. Also, I rarely filter, but on the rare occasion I do, you're in on it. :-P
I confused my best friend by saying "I do not know how to get beyond the "how do I feel?" default. I want a default of "What is the next right action for me?" but it is hard." All I mean is that this job transition thing, layoff, whatever, it's kicking my emotional butt, if I had an emotional butt. Ok, who am I kidding my emotions are ALL butt right now. Anyhow, I want to just get beyond it and continue doing the next right thing because whining ain't gonna help a thing. It's just time, effort, growth that is going to make it better and I'm doing all I can. So, my point is a less selfish mindset is what I want for a default.
That said, I'm aware of my own natural selfish viewpoint and I do try to get out of it and look around once in awhile.
You're fully allowed to look out for number one in my opinion. The problem is more when one's selfishness detracts from other people that if becomes a problem. Generosity is inherently selfish, but that doesn't make it less worthwhile. If you take care of your needs first, it will put you in a better position to care for the needs of others.
In reading this thread, it sounds like you and I hold many beliefs in common. I love the Cohen quote, and I also think that I have a problem with over-self-congratulation (is that grammatically correct? Probably not, but it's what seems to work, correct or not.) I must remind myself, being happy does NOT make you better, just happier.
Yeah, I struggle with boundless happiness, which is ridiculous, of course, but I'm happy about it, so what can you do? But even with over-self-congratulation, when I celebrate my own achievements, I try to do it in an inclusive manner so that other people can cheer with me. I would hate for what I accomplish to make anyone feel that they have failed to do something else. It's a fine line, but I hope to err on the side of letting the people in my life know that my achievements and satisfaction are only possible because of the support and encouragement they provide.
That is an excellent attitude to have. Isn't being happy wonderful? I wish that everyone was as happy, there would be MUCH fewer wars if more people were happy.