Lanette (starrynytes4me) wrote,
Lanette
starrynytes4me

  • Mood:

Ego Beatdown

Happy
1. For the first time in months dental pain isn't much of an issue. This makes thinking and focus and energy much easier than I realized.
2. I'm managing my chronic nerve pain and endo very well by getting enough sleep, food, and vitamins. I think I should be proud of that because it is difficult to do.
3. My pain levels are consistently so low that it isn't what I talk about all of the time. In fact I can sometimes ignore it. Pain level 5 is the new normal and pain level 7 is the new "spike". From 7 being the normal and 9 being the spike it's a world of difference.
4. Things with Craig are wonderful! I'm so in love and our daily life is great!
5. I've submitted two papers to PNSQC (a testing conference in Portland) and I find out if either were accepted on May 16th! Fingers crossed.

The Other Stuff
1. Not thrilled to have gained a FULL 20lbs this winter. Yes, I was underweight, but now I'm a size 8ish and headed on a fast trip towards unhealthy and chubby. 3 unplanned surgeries and infection and medication aside, I know I need to get this back to top priority for my health's sake. Both the emotional eating AND the exercise habits need to change a bit. I would only like to lose 15lbs total, but gaining strength and fitness are the most important goals.
2. I've been working a ton of overtime and trying so hard to find the right balance of growth, learning, and feeling accomplished. When I work this hard I want to feel deeply satisfied with the results. I'm still striving towards that right balance. Eating lunch at my desk most days and working late and being "heads down" in my office isn't the right way to go. Stress management and balance and not always being in "catch up" or "panic mode" are goals I need to work towards. This is part of the weight gain too, is that it's just not worth it. What I'm doing isn't the optimal way to be productive long term. It's a death march towards burnout and I should know better.
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