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Oh Jeeze [Aug. 11th, 2008|02:27 pm]
[Current Mood |draineddrained]

I have something happy to say. Nerve pain down the leg is a bit better. I even felt a shift in my lower spine this morning I haven't felt in forever the muscles were so tight. There is hope.

It's not even 3pm yet and I'm shaking, hot, trying not to tremble the pain is so intense. Just beat tired. My stomach is swollen and I walk like an old person. I want to be at home with ice in the front of the dreaded T zone.

And I fly out on Wed morning. *le sigh*.

I'm scared. Still not at 100% for work. It's been 48 days since my surgery. I am STILL in pain from it. It's impacting every day of my life. Not sure what else to say. Scared about my job and close to dropping out of my conference. Not sure why I did this.

Even an extra vicoden per day is not getting me back where I need to be. I slept for 9 hours last night and took a 2 hour nap in the middle of the day. I never used to need naps. If I look pale, weak, and puny, never fear. We add Physical Therapy tomorrow. Just hope it works because this pain is about to drive me up a tree. I just have to remember afternoon is the worst for me. It always is. Night and morning are better.

Please let me better in time for Amy and Angela's birthday?

From: theda
2008-08-11 10:56 pm (UTC)
I wish I could give you a big, nonpainful hug.
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-08-12 12:47 am (UTC)
Awww. Thank you! It is already some better. I went home and am curled up on the laptop in Craig's boxers and T-Shirt. The swelling really really sucks. It just HURTS. They say in the documentation the first 8 weeks, which is 56 days is the "basic healing", so I'm still in the early phase even if I am tired of it and think all surgery pain should be over.
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[User Picture]From: omcintyre
2008-08-12 02:42 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry. I understand where you are and I'm so sorry you're there.

I'm sending you the biggest hugs these short stubby arms can give!
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-08-12 03:01 am (UTC)
Awww! Thank you. I'll have you know your post about you SEEING the Olympics made me tear up with hope for you.
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[User Picture]From: omcintyre
2008-08-12 03:48 am (UTC)
Thank you sweetie! I have to say, I have noticed improvement in my color perception which is better than nothing! And watching all those beautiful colors moving across the screen really was incredibly moving.

Thank you for having hope.. hope is always a good thing!
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[User Picture]From: anomalous_girl
2008-08-12 02:17 pm (UTC)
I wish I could see you when you are in San Francisco and have you stay at my old house and we could hang out and I could take care of you!! I am sorry that you are having such a tough time!!

Hey, by the way, you are flying into SFO, yes or no? If so, Brooke's picture should be up. Her drawing was chosen as one of them to display in the baggage claim area of SFO through August and September.
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-08-12 03:52 pm (UTC)
Yay! Yes, I'm flying into SFO on Wed.
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[User Picture]From: prairieflower
2008-08-12 02:37 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry you're hurting so badly. You are working so hard on managing your pain and I know it has to be frustrating for you.

I want you to know though, that I'm proud of you. You really inspire me. I know that might sound silly, but you do. You're such a fighter. You're really strong and it amazes me when I really think about all that you are going through.

I wish I had a magic wand so I could just give it a wave and take away your pain. I'm sure you wish you had one too.

I hope that you can get back on top of your pain management and feel better. And I hope you finish healing quickly and feel better soon. I know you've done a LOT for your health in the last few years, and I know you're really working hard.

*gentle hugs*

Take good care.
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-08-12 03:53 pm (UTC)
Things are better today. I'm trying to keep in mind I'm still a week away from what they said would be "basic healing", so it isn't that unexpected that I'm still having trouble.

I start Physical Therapy today! Hopefully that will help. *hugs*
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[User Picture]From: prairieflower
2008-08-12 03:57 pm (UTC)
When I hurt my shoulder, I had great relief from the pain by starting PT. My PT person was hilarious and we got along really well. I was actually kind of bummed when he released me from care. ;)

I hope you have great results from PT yourself! Let us know how it goes!
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[User Picture]From: dove
2008-08-12 04:02 pm (UTC)

*loves on you*

*puts on funny icon for your amusement*

This is what I would do to your pain, if it were a xerox machine.
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-08-12 04:04 pm (UTC)
ROFL! I love the icon. Pain is some better today and I start physical therapy in 2 hours! Here's hoping it works.
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