||[May. 15th, 2008|07:59 am]
Woke up in significantly less pain. Level 7 is so much more reasonable than 9. I feel mentally a world better. It may not last all day, but it's the first day in a long time to wake up better.
I've had a shower and am in a nice outfit.
Please don't ever stop counting on me to be a loyal friend and supporter no matter what is going on with me personally. It doesn't matter my pain level. My pain level will impact what I am able to do, not if I'll make the effort to see you and be present in the ways I can.
I need to do what I can. If I can't be useful to someone else it makes my pain situation intolerable and I feel like who I am is slipping away. Being a good friend, being a loving family member, and being THERE is a core part of who I am and to lose that is not something I can deal with. I need to do what I can with the ability I have. It's one of my deepest fears that people will stop asking for my help, stop trying to see me, assume they can't count on me, and just move on. That happens to people all of the time. I don't want it to happen to me. Isolation is a big problem for people in chronic pain. It is up to the person in pain to prevent it from happening. There is a choice to make. I'm hardcore about sticking to plans I make when there is any physical way possible, even if the actual plans themselves change, it's the connection with the person that is important.
I'd really like to know if as a friend from afar if there's anything I can do to help you with your pain situation. I feel very helpless being so far away. Do sympathetic comments help? Or is it annoying? Is there anything I could do to make this better for you?
Hi Jenn, you know, being able to still interact with people helps. My friends I'm able to see in person though it really helps the most even if I can't do too many fun activities. I never get annoyed when people are kind and caring to me. The thing that is going to help this most is to get better pain treatment that is more long lasting.
I know I can always count on you. Never worry that your sister won't call on you if she needs you. Just as I hope you'd do the same.
One thing I know you can always do, even at your highest pain levels, is indulge in college drama. *grins*
I love the college drama. :)
I believe in you 100%. We've had our knock down drag outs and come through it stronger. You've been there for me through some of the roughest times in my life and I'd like to think I've done the same for you. I will never give up on you, get over you or move on. Some people think I move a lot but that's the nature of what I do. Being a musician means going where the music is otherwise I have to give up the biggest passion in my heart- that is next to the people I really love. ;)
Your support means everything to me and I will always do everything within my power to reciprocate that. I miss you a lot today and I just want you to know that even though I can't just hop in my car and head down to Maple Valley anymore doesn't mean that I am absent from your table when it counts. I hope you never forget how much I adore you. *HUG*
*hug* I'm missing you too. Listened to the CD you made on my way to work. I got to thinking how much I hope that your next album will have Chasers, My kind of people, and also the Potential Boyfriend song, maybe Not gonna cry? Like the happy songs as well as the sad. :)
Well I can say at the very least you will get high quality demos of all of those songs for your own personal collection. ;) As for the album? Who knows. It's gonna be a lot of material to choose from that's for sure!
2008-05-15 05:44 pm (UTC)
Sorry we've been quiet.
My wife's been in a similar boat the last few weeks (regularly-shifting, disablingly-severe pain or discomfort) so we've been kinda quite on our end, especially with all the prep work added on to that. Hopefully, the majority of that will end soon.
I'm so sorry to hear that. It's frustrating to say the least, and trying to be a parent to a young child would be very difficult when dealing with that level of pain. I hope she feels better soon.
2008-05-16 03:24 pm (UTC)
It is good and brave of you to bring this up. I can see it happening sometimes - I know what you mean. Like, I've been thinking about going out more but I haven't made a move to call you and ask much because I assume your pain level is too high. (Not that I'm going out with other people instead of you, just not initiating plans as much as I'd like.)
I may not be able to do as many things, but on the days when you want to do something mellow, even if my pain level is high, I want you around. I understand if you want to go do something I can't do and wouldn't be offended at all, but I still like to see you.