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More Confess [Feb. 11th, 2008|01:25 pm]
[Current Mood |determineddetermined]

I'm down more weight. 11lbs under goal. Still haven't hit the lowest weight ever (luckily). I washed my smaller jeans in hot water last night to shrink them. I didn't eat breakfast this morning, and didn't even eat lunch until 1pm. You want to know why? Fear. I'm scared. That's why. I try to realize people higher up in the company are JUST people. They are no different from me, except maybe they are not intimidated by position. I get so nervous it's hard not to throw up sometimes.

I will work on my self-limiting behavior and negative self-talk.
I deserve good things. The other shoe isn't always about to drop.
I can make myself enough of a priority to eat the items I plan to eat, even if I feel it isn't "productive" in the moment.

[User Picture]From: specsafety
2008-02-11 09:37 pm (UTC)

I hear that..."Fear" is a four letter word!!!

Hi Lannette:
I will compulsively eat when fear rears its ugly head. We are so alike, its just incredible. I would add another caveat to your montra...that is that our minds will make things 10000 % worse than the situation is...Example of this for me would be: My boss did not respond to my email...my mind takes over and here is the result: he hates the idea and is now plotting a way to terminate me, I will lose my house, be homeless, and be one of those guys selling oranges on the freeway onramp. Rarely has anything that my mind thought would happen in terms of severity has ever happened. My fear sometimes is paralyzing and prevents me from truly experiencing all that life can be. I like how this female Rear-Admiral, who was profiled on "60 Minutes", operated through life. She would do what she thought was right, sometimes without asking permission, then if she ruffled some feathers, she would say she was sorry.
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-02-11 09:42 pm (UTC)

Re: I hear that..."Fear" is a four letter word!!!

I sometimes compulsively eat, and now, sometimes compulsively don't eat. It's all the same thing, which is treating myself like crap. It just goes so deep. Anyhow, thanks for the support and kind words.
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