|Interesting Relationship Studies, or No Duh
||[Sep. 6th, 2007|09:22 am]
I call this study "I'm not alone in feeling that if you don't help me on a practical level when I flat out ask you, that you don't love me in the way I need to be loved and I start to resent and hate you." See more here. Why many males don't understand this is beyond me. If I say "I need this to be happy," I mean it. I'm not saying "I want this". I'm saying I actually need it as much as I need you to not play the pokey game with another woman.
Chethik says that his research with 300 American husbands shows that “household tasks have a huge impact on the quality of a marriage.” He found that when married men reported that their wives were unhappy with the division of household labor, the men were more than twice as likely to report also being cheated on or having considered divorce.
I call this study "Invest it all in looking better if you are female". See "Men go for looks but women are picky" study. Yep, it's science. Screw the self-help or relationship book. Buy a makeover. Who doesn't understand that the same annoying, or stupid comment will sound almost cute coming out of the right face?
While I find studies interesting, I can't say I find any of this a big shock.
Anyone who finds this a shock is probably in one of those bad situations, or has recently gone through one...badly. Unfortunately, there are way too many people out there like that. My theory on the subject is that many (or even most) of them just simply don't want to understand it, because that would mean they would have to do things they don't want to do, and would be responsible for willingly and knowingly choosing not to do them. Head-in-the-sand sort of thing. They kind of recognize it along the edges of their periphery, and shy away from it. (Which, of course, leads to all sorts of other subconscious multiple-train-wreck-pile-up issues, but that's another discussion.)
It's like they just wake up one day and say, "Wow, this woman hates me." Like they had nothing to do with it every time they didn't hold up their end of the bargain. The worst part about a situation like this one is that it turns the female into a bad person. An angry, bitter, overworked, hateful person. Scary. I'm terrified of ever becoming like that again.
No article on the 2nd link:( But I get the idea. Men (in general)
are all about the looks. Luckily many of them have very low standards. I know some who have pointed out attractive things about women I thought were dog ugly. Like one guy thought a woman was attractive only because of the way she held her mouth--it made him thing of Lewinski, if you know what I mean.
And seriously, who could be surprised to learn that women who feel over worked and used don't want to have sex as often.
Oops. I fixed the link now.
Actually, I find that looks are only a portion of it, like the framing on a picture. A large portion of the attraction, at least for me (and for many other guys I've talked to over the years), comes from attitude and movement. Someone I wouldn't be attracted to from just a picture might absolutely captivate me in person, whereas someone who I'd like the picture of might be repulsive in person.
Which may seems to not be about "looks" but what it comes down to is that guys (in general) are more interested in the packaging than in the content.