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It takes Villiage,.. [Oct. 25th, 2006|08:45 am]
[Current Mood |amusedamused]

My mother is hilarious! This morning, getting ready for work and the train, I asked her why she was taking up all of the room on the counter and she replied, "It takes a villiage to fix THIS face!" We started laughing, then talking about my past insistance that I would trade 20 IQ points for more beauty because as a woman I thought I could do more with the beauty. She asked what I'd have to look like to become a total mouth breather. *giggles* I told her Cindy Crawford level hot. She told me that even Cindy looks pretty bad when her mouth is open and she is drooling on the floor, and "never sell your brain." Of course, now, I wouldn't sell either. We all get old. Beauty fades, but stupid lasts forever. ;) Also, if you use your mind and earn money, beauty, or the illusion of it, can be easily bought.

She then told me that I was stunningly gorgeous anyways, so I get both. It was 6am and I had totally red eyes and crazy hair. Then she slyly said, "Well, not right now." Ahahahaha! I told her we will get a villiage and become even more attractive, if you can believe that is possible.

Last night the gossip was all about the "worst dates ever" at the hair salon. My hair lady went on a first date where as soon as she showed up, the guy pulled a 4 foot bong out from behind the couch and started smoking a bowl. Then when he asked her if she wanted any and she said no he proceeded to smoke the whole bowl right there and insist she drive. He then drank 10 beers! And then made her pay for all of it plus dinner. Then dirty danced with other people at a bar until she left. Whoa! That was bad, but most of you know my worst date ever tops it ;) Ha! So all of you out there doing the dating thing, good luck, and keep your humor about you, it may be needed.

Not only is my new hair wonderful, but I am doing FREAKING GREAT! As in better than ever I can remember. It is partly boy related, but partly it is just that life is going so well that my main worry is that the bubble will burst, but I'm floating anyways. It doesn't matter how long this lasts for me, just that it is my life at all is beautiful and I appreciate how lucky I am.

[User Picture]From: kanderson321
2006-10-25 09:50 pm (UTC)

My worst date ever

I worked (for two weeks) at a garage door company near Marymoor Park in Redmond years ago.

I was a temp receptionist. The warehouse was in the back of the store front, and my job was to answer the phones sweetly, call up a sales person from the office if someone came into talk about buying a door, and because I was bored stiff, help the woman doing the books with trying to get them into some semblance of order.

The guys in the warehouse took bets on how fast one of them could get me into bed.

So the "designated guy" asks me out to go drinking. I tell him, "I don't drink, but I do shoot pool, so let's go do that."

He buys a pitcher of beer, and pours me a glass. I take a sip, say, "Eeew." and it sits on the table while I have a nice run of the pool table. After a while, he says, "Oh, your beer is warm. Let me finish that for you and pour you another glass."

Lather, rinse, repeat, for two pitchers. He can now no longer stand up without staggering. Now, he's not even cheating to give me an advantage, I win every round. I pour him into my car, and drive him home, where he tries to have me give him a back massage. He passes out on the floor, and I let myself out.

The next time, we went to a different pub, and he (not learning from date 1) proceeds to get blind drunk. I pour him back into my car, and get him home, but this time, I just drop him off at the door with a "see you tomorrow!"

The next time he asked me out, I said, "no."

He lost the bet.

There were also some doozies where the guy proceeded to spend the entire dinner telling me about his ex-girlfriends and what bitches they were. That one was a, "Thank you, please don't call me again."
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[User Picture]From: vivaine666
2006-10-26 05:46 pm (UTC)
I saw the title and thought, "Yeah, VALUE Village." hehehe

And "villiage"?
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