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I heard when you are over 11 you stop making a big deal about your birthday. - Redhead Rantings [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Lanette

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I heard when you are over 11 you stop making a big deal about your birthday. [Mar. 11th, 2009|05:13 pm]
Lanette
[Current Mood |stressedstressed]

Midnight threw up at the vet and still wouldn't eat anything. We get to bring him home for the night so he can be less stressed, but he goes back to the vet in the morning.

I asked my co-workers to cancel the plans they had for my birthday because I'm not in a mood to be festive. I just am stressed and upset and wish my birthday wasn't tomorrow. I don't have time to get older right now. In fact I just want to read a book. No matter what I do I seem to be letting someone down or disappointing someone. I feel like that all of the time lately. It's all I can do to not start crying.

I am very thankful that I'm in less pain and I'm also thankful to have the family and friends and boyfriend and job that I do. I'm so thankful that kitty made it through the day even though he isn't better yet. I just have been under so much stress and I feel like I'm going to crack.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: romperwebby
2009-03-12 12:27 am (UTC)
you're not letting me down or disappointing me, if that counts for anything ;-)

our cats are like our kids, when they're sick, we feel their pain.

can you have a glass of wine and take a bubble bath?
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2009-03-12 12:46 am (UTC)
Thanks. Unfortunately, no. I have to finish working and then work some more, and then watch the kitty.

As much as I do love my kitty, unlike a child I do leave him overnight alone with extra food. I promise I wouldn't do that with a child.
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[User Picture]From: romperwebby
2009-03-12 12:48 am (UTC)
and that's why i dont want babies. too much responsibility!
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[User Picture]From: christabel
2009-03-12 01:38 am (UTC)
*Big Hugs* I am so sorry about Mr. Midnight and you. If I were there I'd take care of you.
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2009-03-12 02:14 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Thank you! I miss you. Midnight is getting some better.
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[User Picture]From: ebullientjenn
2009-03-12 01:45 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry about Midnight, and happy mellow early birthday. Take care of yourself.
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2009-03-12 02:15 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I am feeling better and so is kitty.
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[User Picture]From: enchant
2009-03-12 01:55 am (UTC)
you could post-pone your birthday till the 4th of July, that way, you get fireworks on your birthday!

(hug)
Thompson
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2009-03-12 02:15 pm (UTC)
*hug* great point! Now I'm going to pretend some of the fireworks are for me in July. I love sparklers.
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[User Picture]From: pattinthehatt
2009-03-12 11:26 am (UTC)
I won't make a separate post about wishing you a happy birthday, then... I'll just wish it to you here. Because I want you to find some happiness for your birthday, in whatever form it takes. If that means being low key and not having any sort of conventional celebration, then that's what you should do. I've spent too many of mine trying to make other people happy... I don't recommend it. It's your day, not theirs.

I'm glad your kitty is hanging in there. I'm not a cat person because I'm so very allergic, but I am a dog person and have nursed beloved dogs through bad health, and lost some of them. I do understand the pain you're going through with this. I'm thinking of you and your beloved furry child.

I wish I could give you the years I have left, since you want them so much. I really don't want them at all. I'm not trying to be dramatic, it's just the truth. I'd love to give them, and my health, to someone who needs them.
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2009-03-12 02:13 pm (UTC)
I am going to have great years and I much prefer you be around with your sweetie wearing amazing outfits for years to come. You are a unique and wonderful person and I really enjoy having you around. Besides, we both can have the best years of our lives to come in the future. I mean after so long of whining that I want a baby are you going to freak the day I post I'm pregnant or what?
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[User Picture]From: pattinthehatt
2009-03-12 04:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you for such kind words. :o) Please don't worry that I'm thinking of hurting myself... I'm not. I'm just kind of tired of it all right now, although that probably has to do with all the things that are kind of jumping on me at once. And so many people I care about are in so much pain, have bodies that are... just not strong. Including my little cousin with SMA. Here I am in this ridiculously healthy body... I'll be 44 this year, and I carried tons of weight on this little frame, and I really have very few problems. It seems so... disproportionate. And as much as I've known for a very long time that life isn't fair, I still tend to be offended by that unfairness, and to rail against it a bit. Just how I am, I guess, a little bit of the tilting at windmills.

And I will be beside myself with happiness for you!
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2009-03-12 04:33 pm (UTC)
In some ways I'm thankful for what living in chronic pain has taught me. I appreciate good days more than I ever did before and I'm stronger inside even if my body isn't. It's my responsibility to make my life a good one no matter what circumstances are outside of my control.

I'm very glad you are healthy! You've worked hard for it too.
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2009-03-12 02:14 pm (UTC)
Thank you! He's holding his own and improving.
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[User Picture]From: carryaway
2009-03-12 03:17 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry you're stressed this much for your birthday. *hugs* I hope by Saturday you can relax... and I'm going to keep everyone in line so it's a joyful day and non-drama.
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2009-03-12 04:23 pm (UTC)
I think that all who are coming are ready to have fun, so I'm not worried. :) Thank you for all of your work and I will try to lay low on Friday so I feel good on Saturday.
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[User Picture]From: the_new_perfect
2009-03-12 04:32 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry it's a hard day. I'm sending a birthday squeeze.
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2009-03-12 05:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you! *hugs back*
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[User Picture]From: random_girl
2009-03-12 05:15 pm (UTC)
I hope your birthday wishes come true, especially if they're that Midgnight gets better and you get to read a book.

Happy Birthday.
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2009-03-12 05:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you. He is some better and I'm just hoping he eats and drinks today! He slept on the bed with us again and I've been missing him doing that, so that was a great improvement.
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[User Picture]From: random_girl
2009-03-12 05:33 pm (UTC)
When our old cat stopped eating/drinking, I discovered his love for Tuna was greater than his need to keel over. Tuna packed in water is the best--I poured out the tuna water and put it in a little dish (easy for him to just put his face in), and then stuck it near his face. He lapped it up.

After that, I took a little bit of tuna and some waster and mixed it in the blender to make a tuna smoothie. If I didn't give him too much at a time, he slowly, slowly began to consume it, and the following day he got back on regular food.

If Midnight is feeling better and your vet is ok, maybe you could find something to tempt him with that would make water even a tastier idea?
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2009-03-12 05:38 pm (UTC)
Fish is really hard on the kidney's so with kidney failure that isn't an option right now. We did try to get him to eat some wet food and he won't even drink right now. It's a good thought, but it could hurt him to give him the fish until the kidneys are better.
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