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Lanette

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Tolerance [Nov. 3rd, 2008|05:50 pm]
Lanette
[Current Mood |sadsad]

If you shut out any opinion you don't agree with because it makes you feel bad, are you really tolerant?

It makes me sad that people in my life who have honestly opened my mind and introduced me to new ideas that preach tolerance would kick me out of their life the second I had an opinion that conflicted with theirs,..without a word, because it was easier.

That to me isn't tolerance. It's hypocrisy. I am still glad that I tolerated your views which did not match mine because it taught me so much. I just hope that when it no longer hurts to be shut out of the small scope of reality that you feel is worth the time to handle that I'll still remember the good things I learned from you more than feeling like I'm left in the cafeteria holding my lunch tray like a moron. You may not be tolerant, but you are a well intended, loving, and good person and I'm still glad to have known you even if it is past tense. I get it. You have no use for me anymore. I can't further your cause. We are in different fights. I guess I just thought I meant more than I did. I'm always getting confused about my role it seems.

Ah well. When I think about it in depth, what do we really have in common anymore? It may not be enough. Anyhow, I really do wish you all the best in love and life. I suppose all knowledge IS worth having.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: blubberfatality
2008-11-04 02:01 am (UTC)
well said!
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-11-04 02:06 am (UTC)
Thanks. Glad you can understand. It's natural for people to come and go in our lives. For some reason I seem to always be the person with my hand stuck out for a bit too long, waiting for someone to take it long after they have moved on.
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[User Picture]From: vivaine666
2008-11-04 07:18 pm (UTC)
Me too. Maybe it's a family trait?
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[User Picture]From: stephanieanne
2008-11-04 03:15 am (UTC)
Well said, but very sad :(

Sorry you are going through that, Lanette.
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-11-04 03:52 am (UTC)
*hugs* Thank you. I am not sure how people just let go so quickly, but I think I tend to be oversensitive sometimes.
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[User Picture]From: meowlet
2008-11-04 04:35 am (UTC)
Vague but sad - this can't be good news! :( Hugs.
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-11-04 05:30 am (UTC)
It's not terrible. It will be ok. *hugs*
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[User Picture]From: meowlet
2008-11-04 08:54 pm (UTC)
You are resilient. : ) And positive! hee.
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[User Picture]From: anomalous_girl
2008-11-04 05:25 am (UTC)
Am I missing something? What happened? If you need to email me, you can. I am worried about you, are you ok?
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-11-04 05:31 am (UTC)
Not a huge deal, just frustrated with a few things. I am ok. I'll be going back to work in the morning.
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[User Picture]From: specsafety
2008-11-04 01:38 pm (UTC)

I hear you...

Its the new form of McCarthy-ism. I have had friends cast me aside too. And you know what, they were not worth having if they couldnt tolerate divergent viewpoints. I hope you are doing well, I think of you often! Take care Lanette.
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-11-04 03:16 pm (UTC)

Re: I hear you...

Thank you, Len! You know, I respect that each adult gets to choose their friends, and why would they want to spend time with someone who doesn't have enough in common with them? I guess I just thought it wouldn't turn out like this.

Do you know that the very same people who supported me when I made the decision to have surgery for my health and work on my weight are just gone. Over 75% have just left my life. Me trying to sort out my body image, weight, and personal issues has been so disturbing to others that they just can't stick around for it.

The only solace I have is knowing that I've done the best I personally can to survive and that my effort on my own issues is never intended to force someone else to face anything they aren't ready to face, or make someone else feel bad. It is only about me and my recovery from dysfunctional emotional eating and a lifetime of living in this society being obese.

I can even look back to two years ago, the offer of support after my surgery. The same person just left without even bothering with an email. Your actions speak so loud, I can't even hear what you are saying.

I'm being high drama here. I need to react like I did in school. I joined choir and drama. I realized I'd never fit in, so I decided to shine. I wore costumes to school. If I can't be accepted, I'll at least be entertaining. Then when I carry my lunch tray, I'll have the courage to introduce myself to someone new, and if all else fails I'll have a good book to read.

Note to self: Learn to handle rejection. It's part of life.
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