Log in

No account? Create an account
One Good Reason-If you have time - Redhead Rantings [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

One Good Reason-If you have time [Jul. 18th, 2008|11:00 am]
[Current Mood |distresseddistressed]

Please tell me just one good thing about me that has nothing to do with looks explaining why I am not a loser who should just give up.

Thanks. Today really really really sucks.

And I still have butt lips. And am swollen in my garment. And wish a large shipment of off brand painkillers from China would arrive in a giant shipment box that filled the garage.

Remind me again, WHY was having a marsupial pouch and peeing sideways SO bad that I had to go do this to myself and end up in debt? Can I take it back? I'm too depressed for Friday pros and cons. Maybe more glitter will help. I'm going to bathe in it brb.

[User Picture]From: gonzy317
2008-07-18 06:04 pm (UTC)
One thing? Just one?!

You are increidbly self aware and are always trying to better yourself (which is also probably why having a marsupial pouch and peeing sideways WAS so bad for you and you did something about it...) You strive to acheive, and as far as I can tell, you do. :)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-07-18 06:11 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Thank you. I sometimes do and I sometimes fail. I'm a hardass on myself and everyone else and that's why I HATE to fail. I am furious for my imperfection. This is why I was morbidly obese and why I still struggle. I keep trying.

If you want to be an emotional wreck, I suggest the lower body lift and some Ambien in the mix to see how it goes.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: gonzy317
2008-07-18 08:51 pm (UTC)
I, too, am an annoying perfectionist and it makes life very difficult - not only for myself but for those around me and who love me (not as many as there used to be. I'm becoming a 30-something total bitch, really). I feel badly for them, but it is who I am, and well... can't change it and don't really want to. I *get* you - in SO many ways its like looking at an emotional mirror.

Gonna pass on the LBL for now (though I wouldn't mind chopping off my pannus...I could almost live with myself without that damn thing!)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-07-18 08:55 pm (UTC)
I do have a bit more work to do, but soon is fine.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-07-18 06:10 pm (UTC)
When you get plastics they give you a hilarious "garment" which has a huge open crotch and butt giving you unseemly "buttlips" out the back that truely look like you are talking out your rear. IF nothing else, it is hilarious.

But on day 22 when you still hurt like hell, bend over to brush your teeth and your partner says, "Hey, nice buttlips" it isn't quite as funny.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: kanderson321
2008-07-18 06:17 pm (UTC)

Several nice things about you

1) Because you stand up for what you believe in
2) Because you care deeply for your friends
3) Because you have a wicked sense of humor
4) Because you are a genuinely nice person
5) Because you throw yourself at things with energy and passion

And hey, that's from someone who has never met you in person, so you must be incredible in person. :)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-07-18 06:18 pm (UTC)

Re: Several nice things about you

Here's the crappy breakdown
40%-feel like a loser about my paper
20%-Boyfriend hurt my feelings
40%-Still hurt and not enough painkillers in the world for the horrid surgery I hda.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: kanderson321
2008-07-18 06:23 pm (UTC)

Re: Several nice things about you

Yeah, but you are:

100% honest and kind
150% passionate about your beliefs
200% funny and smart

I'm no math genius, and Calculus ruined me for real math (like addition and subtraction), but that adds up to ...oh....(takes off socks), carry the two... 210%. Give or take a few percentage points.

I'll share a loser story with you; I hope it makes you feel better. It's been YEARS later, and I still cringe when I think of it:

In the 6th grade, I ran for Student Body president. My platform? More vacations and field trips.

I also dressed up as Jimmy Carter for Halloween. Man, I was SUCH a loser. I should have had someone tattoo a permament "L" on my forehead.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: tulleandtiaras
2008-07-18 06:22 pm (UTC)
You are winning the war. You have a career, your own home, people who care for you and a sense of determination many people would kill for. You are obviously extremely intelligent and don't let anyone take advantage of you.

All this and I haven't even met you in person. *smile* It is a full moon today. I haven't stopped crying all morning.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: rosenstpaul
2008-07-18 06:27 pm (UTC)
I can say you are honest, funny, and a good friend. Having never met you these are the things I have seen in you just by reading.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: random_girl
2008-07-18 06:29 pm (UTC)
You get this look on your face when someone is talking to you that makes us feel like you're really listening, and you find us really important. I love that about you--you make ME feel special for knowing you.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: qryb
2008-07-18 06:32 pm (UTC)
that is so sweet!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-07-18 10:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you. That is really really cool! I dig smart people. :)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: qryb
2008-07-18 06:30 pm (UTC)
1. You are an inspiration to tons and tons and tons of people (particularly in the WLS community), including me.

2. You are very objective in evaluating both yourself and situations.

3. You are eager and willing to help people - even those who are afraid to ask for help.

4. You are very intelligent.

5. You have excellent taste in clothes and make-up.

Shall I go on? :)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: enchant
2008-07-18 06:30 pm (UTC)
You have a beautiful soul, so beautiful that you inspire me to be a better Thompson. Forgive yourself. And give yourself a hug from me.

Oh: And your career is amazing. You discover and invent things. That's amazing!

Thompson love
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: theda
2008-07-18 06:37 pm (UTC)
I think that you are witty, intelligent, and funny as hell.

Lovely is just frosting on that cake.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: gfrancie
2008-07-18 06:39 pm (UTC)
You are direct with people. I really admire that. You don't want the best just for yourself -you also want it for other people and that is a rare quality.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: lilymd
2008-07-18 06:58 pm (UTC)
You have an awesome sense of humor. You're always making me laugh for sure!
Also, you really care about your friends. Both here on LJ and there in your everyday life. :)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: stephanieanne
2008-07-18 07:04 pm (UTC)
I look up to you. Your humor, sensibility, and chutzpa are inspiring. You also tell it how it is, no bullshit. I love that!

You are going to get through this!

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: ever_abstract
2008-07-18 07:11 pm (UTC)
Reminder: someday very soon, a towel will be all you need to try yourself off. No hair dryers. No powders. No complicated routine. Toileting will no longer be an acrobatic feat to keep yourself from being drenched and smelling like urine. When you get old, caring for your extra skin and preventing infections and ulcerations will be one less burden your family will have to deal with. Because you deserve closure and normalcy. Because having that much skin must really be uncomfortable and once you heal fully, you will be comfortable.

Hang in there. Accept that taking baby steps might get you there at a snail's pace, but you'll still get there. You're not a loser. You should never give up. Ever. You've come way too far for giving up. Go watch The Neverending Story, for pete's sake!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: anomalous_girl
2008-07-18 07:27 pm (UTC)
I can tell you more than one thing about you that I think is awesome.

1. Even when you are mad, you are able to articulate yourself well enough that you make me think about things and laugh too, you always make me laugh.
2. Even when you were in pain, you still wanted to hang out with me and my family and go to a silly school play. Not many people would have been so generous about their time.
3. You have been through so much in your life, in so many ways, that you give me hope that if things were to get tough, that I can find inner strength like you did and make it through.
4. You are one of the most helpful, compassionate people I know.
5. You are smart as hell!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-07-18 08:43 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Thank you. Not many people would have invited me after seeing that grimace, but it really did make my day better. Just being there made me feel like my dreams are a bit more possible, so thanks.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: thesugarmonster
2008-07-18 07:48 pm (UTC)
1. You're incredibly intelligent and driven.

2. You inspire me to take control of my career and take chances in becoming more than an office worker who files and answers phones because she's afraid she'd fail at anything else.

3. You call people on their shit in a very understanding and compassionate way.

4. You help people see their own truth.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-07-18 08:42 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Thank you. I want you to know that you give me hope. If you can keep trying and do what you are doing with SO MUCH against you, I can get my whiny ass up for one more round and stop my blubbering like a baby.

I've been in tears all day just because I'm not GOOD ENOUGH yet. Not even not good enough ever, just NOT YET. On the first try. Well? How many people get perfection on the first try? Not too many. I need to pull my head out of my buttlips.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: the_new_perfect
2008-07-18 08:15 pm (UTC)
You're a truth teller, even when that truth is not popular, or it is not a universally held one. That takes guts.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-07-18 08:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Today I feel like the girl who cried "wolf" except I cried "I'm making it in a man's profession" and I find out, whoops, too soon. I'm failing and I'm an idiot struggling and over my head.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: the_new_perfect
2008-07-20 02:30 am (UTC)
Struggling is what it is. It just looks smoother on the surface sometimes more than others.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dreadcptflint
2008-07-18 08:26 pm (UTC)

One thing

Easy, you are daring. My sweetie and I met you because you were daring enough to drive 100+ miles and meet strangers out in the woods to go camping. If you were not daring then we would have never have met and that would have been our loss.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-07-18 08:39 pm (UTC)

Re: One thing

Thank you! And I may give you crap, but I LIKE you and your wife sincerely. You are great generous people. I may not always like or agree with everything you say, but I know you are honest, and I respect that.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: carryaway
2008-07-18 08:31 pm (UTC)
Because you were itchy and had rashes and other fun stuff. You needed to get it done as a medical necessity.

Lanette, you are an amazing friend. You talk a lot, but you listen a lot. You're a very caring person and I can't imagine my life without you and our friendship. I know today sucks and many days will suck. This day will pass and you'll get over. Then something else will happen, but don't worry, you'll get over that too. I'm here for you as are many of your friends. *hugs*

Do you guys need alone time or do you still want me to whisk you away for awhile late this afternoon/evening? I understand if you guys need to be alone, but I'll also understand and be happy to whisk you away for a low-key outing.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-07-18 08:38 pm (UTC)
We don't need to be alone. Far from it. Please come visit. I'm unshowed though, need to hose down. Eww i'm icky and depressed. Just a warning.
Come over anyways, I may smell but I'm not naked or anything.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: carryaway
2008-07-18 08:40 pm (UTC)

Ok. When can I come over? I need to pack my work clothes and take a shower and then I'm ready to head down.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dove
2008-07-18 09:57 pm (UTC)
1. You have been there for your friends and loved ones even when you are strained with your own life happenings.
2. You always pick out the neatest gifts for people, and you are so giving!
3. You leave things better than when you found them.
4. You stayed in my life and available to me even when I was flatlined and had nothing to give back.
5. You regularly make me tear up out of LOVE.
6. You give great advice, and if it weren't for you giving me strength when I found out about Wes's indescretions I might still be with that prick.
7. You make me laugh when I think there's nothing left to laugh about.
8. You have stayed my best friend regardless of how different our lives and circumstances may be at any given time.
9. You don't let distance creep in with us, and have stuck your neck out many times to make sure we maintain the same level of emotional intimacy and don't let that fade or be compromised.
10. You have literally saved my life before.
11. You're beautiful for a hell of a lot more than your physical characteristics. When you smile you light up the room.
12. You're funny enough to be a comedian at Denny's.
13. You are an amazingly fast and organized thinker, and you can articulate things immediately that most people could not sit down and compose in an hour.
14. You're nurturing and you cook wonderfully for your loved ones.
15. You work HARD and deserve every red cent you earn, and all that comes with it.
16. You give to charity.
17. You make friends - good ones - more easily than anyone I know. I'm talking beyond just hooking up with casual work buddies or what have you. You have the energy, somehow, to constantly cultivate new friendships with quality people.
18. You were brave enough to go to Italy completely alone. Holy crap I could never have done that!!!
19. You have given me faith. My whole life (with a Navy dad that required us to move every 3-4 years) never allowed me to take root anywhere, and I didn't even have a concept of what it means to be a friend for life until I met you. I believe in us. I can't wait til we're old on crack and in our cabana with our leopard print muumuus pinching poolboy butts and bragging about the boobs we bought that are almost 40 years younger than we are.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-07-18 10:34 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Item 19 had me cracking up. We are going to look hilarious high on crack with our high fake boobs and wrinkles. Do booze and crack mix?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dove
2008-07-19 03:29 pm (UTC)
I don't know, but we'll find out! ;)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: vivaine666
2008-07-18 11:03 pm (UTC)
You're super hot!
You've got a great (although zippered) body.
Your hair is gorgeous.
You have big bright sunflower eyes.
Did I mention you're a babe?

Oh, that's right, you didn't want to know about your looks. Forget everything I just said. *winks*
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-07-18 11:10 pm (UTC)
My zippers are interesting in that Edward Scissorhands way? ;) You crack me up. You just made me lol and I was crying. Is that a crol?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: vivaine666
2008-07-18 11:10 pm (UTC)
OK, my REAL comment now.

I don't have NEARLY enough time to list even close to all the wonderful things about you, but here's a few.

You are very crafty. (yes, I'm saying you're smart enough to make it work out so that you get what you want AND that you're good at crafts.)
And you're very good at doing people's makeup and making them look good, not just your own.
Even when you're in lots of pain (migraine anyone?) you still go out of your way for others (MS walk?)
I know I can count on you no matter what's going on in your own life.
You crack me up!
You're a very loving caring person who is more to do damage to herself than to let others down.

You rock! I'm SOOOO glad that you're my sister. *hugs*
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-07-18 11:12 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I'm glad you're my sister too. The way you can laugh through ANY situation reminds me to stop being such a serious tightass sometimes. Although right now I"m sort of a no ass, zippered ass, and asslipped wonder. :)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: christabel
2008-07-18 11:41 pm (UTC)
You have never made me feel less than super adored and respected since the day I met you.

You encourage me always to be the best version of myself and are willing to do anything within your power to help me acheive my happiness.

You make a mean drink.

You come pick me up and hang out with me when I'm on the verge of losing it and don't know how to deal.

You never ask for more than you would be willing to do yourself.

You give warm genuine hugs that always make me feel loved.

You have opened your heart, your home and your family to me without hesitation.

You feed me the good cheeseburgers.

You always keep my favorite cold drinks on hand for easy consumption.

You make sweet tea like a native southerner!

You let me be myself.

You pay attention- to what I say and what I sing.

You taught me how to be a great friend by example.

You aren't afraid to look or act ridiculous and your sense of humor is awesome.

You give redheads a good name. ;)

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: puppie
2008-07-19 11:54 am (UTC)
You inspire my better, higher self in the midst of a culture that's always trying to stimulate my baser, selfish self.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: omcintyre
2008-07-20 01:43 pm (UTC)
Sorry I didn't see this until now.

Lanette is..


(I went for an even 10. Let me know if you'd like more adjectives ;) )
(Reply) (Thread)
From: maphia
2008-07-21 12:50 pm (UTC)
You are an inspiration in so many ways. You also give a lot of hope to people who have pain issues that they can keep putting one foot in front of the other.

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: crazyredhead888
2008-07-22 06:14 am (UTC)
I love that you are a smart, strong, super geek. You totally inspired me and encouraged me when I was first getting into tech and for that I'm pretty sure I will always look up to you.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: lesovikha
2008-07-29 07:47 am (UTC)
I found you, from clicking about 7 or 12? friends of friends of friends. I recognized your face from another online site.

1) I don't know you.

- I think what you've done (from reading your public posts) is absolutely heroic.
- You've gone above and beyond, to not just 'pretty' or to be happy because of a false belief that physical 'perfection' will make it so. Knowing full well, what will be sacrificed.

TMI moment. I have severe body issues, I've lost quite a bit of weight from a lot of reasons in the last 3 years. How little I loved myself (my body) before, has only amplified since the weight loss. Even being with a man who loves every flaw on me. "But you should be happy you're in size 10s!" some friends have said.. Really? Because a label makes a person happy? Huh, I thought being comfortable in ones own skin, makes a person happy, size 2 thru 26?..

I cannot imagine the physical pain you're suffering from, as I've yet to have such a surgery. But.. I think the fact that you wanted to make the change, (fully knowing the magnitude) says more about your character and strength than other things.

I think, from a complete outsiders perspective, from reading some past public entries and being hopped up on some dark beer.. that perhaps, the loss of control? is amplifying fears or at the least, triggering some turmoil, as all you have currently to 'manage' is this unbearable pain. You seem to be extremely talented and extremely self sufficient. I personally am not happy when I have to be taken care of, I hate thinking or being in situations where I cannot take care of myself at any moment, and refuse most assistance in even severe situations to the frustration of my beau and close friends..

Be kind to yourself. Remember, that this is the END of the 'process' the recovery from all of this, comes once you've healed.

I wish you quicker recovery, and internal happiness or calm, which ever means more or will help more. ASAP.

I'm sorry if discovering journal and recognizing your stunning mug, upsets you. But happy that you're surrounded by so many wonderful friends.


(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2008-07-29 03:38 pm (UTC)
Thank you Tabitha. That was very sweet and encouraging. :)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)