|Surgery Part Dull
||[Jul. 3rd, 2008|10:10 pm]
Jungle Booty-Get Down Stay Day|
I've been ordered due to "operation save a crotch" that I'm not to leave home. In addition, I'm allowed up only for the purpose of peeing, and if they could outsource that to an assistant I wouldn't be up at all! When I do stand up I get to stroll to premises for a full 10 minutes of excitement. In fact, in a bizarre scenario tomorrow Craig is to watch me shower making sure I don't pass out at the site of my new Franenbody I guess, or it could be a blood pressure thing. He is then to get out a blow dryer and blow me. I kid you not. You can't make instructions like this up. They asked, "Do you have any questions?" I was tempted to ask, "Now, after we sacrifice the chickens, do we unplug the hairblow dryer before or after we begin on the goats?
Pie. mmmmm pie.
To woo me into eating, my mother left the most scrumptious rhubarb pie known to man. Get here early if you want any prayer of getting some of it. Even the cats are eyeing it with wanton desire. I've been told not to buy any clothes since the cute stuff gonzy sent me are already too big now. :( I'm shrinking as the swelling goes down, despite pie. Who knows where it will even out.
Send no clothes, She be shrinking
My Mom told me she isn't buying me any freaking flowers because my cat's a nimrod who eats plants and that it would be her honor to buy me a pair if jeans that fits once I'm freed to go shopping! Yay jeans. Even the size 8's are big now. Need wee pants that crack me up. My own clothes look like they belong to children at this point. I think I could get used to being size 10, but stuff smaller than that makes me look around my house and wonder where is my small asian exchange student hiding, and did I forget to feed them dinner?
Also, here's a quick surgeon review.
1. Actual results-11 out of 10. This guys is freaking talent on wheels. I've seen before/after picks of about 800 post WLS patients with the lower body lift and mine is in the top 2% in my opinion for how good it looks.
2. Bedside manner-8 out of 10. Too serious for my liking, but at least kind and never a jerk.
3. Nursing staff-9 out of 10. Overbooked, but well qualified.
4. Receptionist-AWESOME, friendly, on point.
5. Office-A little fancy for my blood, but I understand why.
6. Finances-More expensive than I expected and more than the competition
, but worth every penny for the result. I think the fee for using a credit card is stupid and this lowered my impression of the office. I understand a small fee, but why a percentage? Maybe if the website explained it it would have helped me understand.
7. Medication-2 out of 10. This was a HUGE area of concern for me for so many reasons. I feel that the pain control the first 3 days was inadequate for the procedure I had and I regret not having stayed in an inpatient place. The first few days of my surgery were more painful than even when I had viral menningitis and was on the morphine drip due to it. I feel like they should have thrown the strongest stuff they had at the pain for the first 2 days and that the combination was not effective enough for the level of pain I was in. I've the Doctor and the Nurses about 87 times about my tolerance to pain meds, how many I need, and still they are Ebeneezer Scrooge sometimes. I know that they want to give me the lowest effective dose and I know that the intentions are great, but they also did a pretty major operation on me. I mean, yes, they DO prescribe normal stuff, but I expect them to take care of this so I can heal until my surgery is all done healing as comfortably as is reasonably and safely possible. Instead I get a 3 day supply and pay co-pays and stress about running out. It's pointless. I don't know if it's the US gov. or them, but I give them a "needs improvement" in this area. For example, I told them I had NO vicoden left on a Thursday appointment at 1pm. They suggested 30 to tide me over until Monday at 1pm. Ummm. I woke up TWICE during the night and had to take more to get back to sleep and in order to be at all comfortable I must take 2 of them. Let's do the math here. That's 6 pills for Thursday. Considering I wake up every time they run out and we have a need of 12 pills for each 24 hour period because they DO NOT ever last 6 hours. I've had a bypass ok? It ain't lasting any 6 hours, we're lucky if we get 4 hours of out it. So, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday all day means 36 pills. Well then, what about Monday until I can get it filled at noon? Let's add n 6 pills there. Grand total of 48 pills with NO extra buffer ever. Thus, this is what I ask for. What do they call in? 40 pills. WTF? Are those 8 pills somehow going to make the world come to an end? Am I supposed to just dose myself with some valium I have left over and hope it makes me pass out so I don't know I'm in pain? Do you prefer me chewing up the inside of my cheeks and waking up in tears with no pills to keep an even number? I won't even get started more on this rant, but I'm sending this to the doctor's office and ALSO a thank you card because they deserve both. Both are valid feedback. I'm not asking for one dang thing I don't need. I didn't ask for more Percocet because I'm making it ok on the lighter meds right now. I'm not asking because it's fun. I'm asking because I need it to sleep, heal, and not be in tears from the pain, that's all. Besides that, I have a LOG of every time I took what pill at my house. I'll bring that and the left over pills to every appointment if they just will trust me and not nickle and dime me until I'm healed up. It won't be too long until I'm healed from this surgery and ok, but until then I don't need to added stress of being afraid of running out of pills all the time. Yes, I know this whole thing sounds like a whiny baby pee pants rant but I am so freaking tired of this problem in the whole US health care system. Educate yourself. All doctors who read medical studies beyond the early 90's and who believe in real science rather than the news media and the stupid "War on Drugs" could do something useful rather than getting in the way of those of us who need and deserve adequate and appropriate pain control from getting it.
If you want to know some of the top ways to to piss me off, here's a start.
1. Insinuate that I'm stupid because of how I look and that anyone who's ever had an emotion is irrational.
2. Tell me that it must be "fun" to take the pills I have to take. You Fing kidding me? I will kill you.
3. Tell me I'm "looking great" when I'm grimacing or crying from pain.
4. Tell me I'm "moody" or "don't seem happy". Let me set your leg on fire and see how happy and unmoody you seem.
5. "Well, you don't look sick. It can't be that bad. Suck it up."
6. You should see a therapist. (Umm I do thanks. In fact, was evaluated by 2 of them who wrote letters to my primary physician stating that my pain was not adequately controlled and I had NONE of the signs of hypocondria).
7. Stop being so selfish. It's all in your head. Just have a baby and you won't have so much time to worry about your own silly problems.