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A General Note - Redhead Rantings [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Lanette

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A General Note [Aug. 10th, 2007|03:09 pm]
Lanette
[Current Mood |informative]

If you are a member of lots of porn LJ groups like "show your ___________" or you are blogging about poly stuff, generally I will not add you as a friend. It isn't personal, it's just not what I use my journal for.

If you are poly and keep me off of such a filter, I'm cool with you being on my friends list. We don't have to have all of the same views politically, romantically, or religiously to be friends online or in life.

On the "using lj as a porn site" thing, I just don't feel comfortable sharing my more private thoughs, and I can't explain why. I just don't.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: puppie
2007-08-10 11:35 pm (UTC)
Wow, I must be seriously sheltered, because I had NO idea that LiveJournal was being used for such purposes! The hell?? ::shakes head::
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[User Picture]From: ashiegrrrl
2007-08-11 05:16 am (UTC)
Poly is short for polyamory, which is where a couple agrees and supports their partner having other partners. More here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2007-08-11 05:19 am (UTC)
That's true. I used to be much more open to it, but I have seen some very hurtful and bad examples of it being tried in people close to me who I love, so now it's really hard for me to see it without being upset. I would say clearly, it isn't for me, and it concerns me. While I understand it works in theory for some people, I've seen it be really destructive in practice so far. I understand that I'm just talking about a small sampling, but it's the sampling I care most about, so I'm not detached and rational about it.

Craig and I have a fully monogamous relationship and we plan to keep it that way even in times of difficulty. It's a tough goal, but one we both agree to.
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[User Picture]From: ashiegrrrl
2007-08-11 05:44 am (UTC)
Beloved and I are fully monogamous despite having started our relationship as poly. I completely understand and respect your point of view. *hugs*
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2007-08-11 07:26 pm (UTC)
I try to keep a more open mind as I understand that relationships are the hardest thing that we do as humans and everyone has a right to search for love in the way that they best can. Certainly, no one person has "the answer". I've just seen more drama and heartache than my share from being around Poly relationships. Thanks for sharing your story and I'm glad you are happy in your relationship now!
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[User Picture]From: dreadcptflint
2007-08-11 08:35 am (UTC)

Monogamy is a great lifestyle choice. I still have one set of friends doing the poly thing (on the fidelity side) and their are times that one side of the relationship does something that makes me cringe. I have a definite preference for people doing the monogamous thing.
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[User Picture]From: starrynytes4me
2007-08-11 07:28 pm (UTC)
Well, cringe-worthy relationship moves are made in both types of relationships I'm sure, but when you are maintaining multiple relationships you have even more opportunity to be an idiot than with just one. :) I'm a jealous and insecure person, and I wouldn't make it one day in a poly relationship.
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[User Picture]From: dreadcptflint
2007-08-11 10:27 pm (UTC)
One of the big lies is that jealously doesn't exist in a poly relationship. Heck, even in the best of mono relationships jealously happens.
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